While watching “Swamp People” on the National Geographic channel the other day, I was reminded of how not to subdue a fish.

This TV series is typical of reality TV: short on substance, long on hype. In short, it’s about alligator hunting during Louisiana’s 30-day season. As for dialogue, if you can remember “Choot ‘em!” you can be a TV star.

Until last year, I’d never eaten paella, let alone tried to pronounce it. Last year, at a restaurant in Kent, Wash., I finally did both.

As for saying paella, I’ve found that few people will laugh out loud if you pronounce it “pie-ay-ah.”

When I saw paella on that restaurant menu, and saw that fish, crab, shrimp, mussels and clams were in it, I bit. After the first bite, I was hooked. It was at least as good as the best seafood gumbo or jambalaya I’ve ever had. The only thing keeping me from licking my plate was the fear that they wouldn’t let me come back for more.

When you’re out on Prince William Sound in a boat, the water and land appear to be as pristine as they were on May 12, 1778, when Capt. James Cook sailed the HMS Resolution into the sound and “discovered” it. On the other hand, when you take off your rose-colored glasses, you find that the sound isn’t quite as pristine as it seems.

Earlier this month, the Clarion ran a story about Greg Brush, a local fishing guide who said he’s going to stop letting his clients kill Kenai River king salmon. Due to last year’s weak run of kings and a gloomy forecast for this year, he’s switching to catch-and-release only, except “those kings fatally hooked during the fight that would otherwise die will be harvested, when legal,” he said. Brush acknowledged that it wouldn’t make a difference in the fishery or the run, but said he wanted to make a statement.

I have a better statement: Don’t fish for Kenai River kings at all.