Posted December 18, 2012 03:41 pm - Updated December 18, 2012 06:40 pm

Downright amazed, doggone cold


If you're reading this from Alaska, then you probably already knew this but for everyone else's benefit I just wanted to share that I live in a place where it has to "warm up" to snow in the winter. 

I ran around in -12 yesterday morning. It was intense. Apparently it will get worse, much worse. 

Here's some more knowledge: 

- Moose begin to resemble zombies right around this time of year. What used to blend in with all of the background trees and dirt, now just looks like mottled flesh. It's so weird. 

- It is possible for your butt to get stuck to an outhouse toilet lid during the wee hours of the morning. Apparently this is fixable with Styrofoam, who knew?

-You can drive on a frozen lake, but you have to be willing to put up with terrifying cracking noises and random 'boom' noises. 

-If you forget to plug in your engine block heater, your car composes an opera when you turn the key to start it in the morning. My Kia has the vocal range of Pat Benetar and the deep bass-y thrum of an overenthusiastic timpani player. It's quite impressive.

-This time of year the bunnies are like ground squirrels in my neighborhood off of K-Beach road.  They have no fear and they stand around in the yard like demented lawn gnomes. What are they eating?!? Everything is covered in snow.  I counted 18 of them just hanging around the front porch when I got home the other night. I feel like I live in the bunny hood or something and everyone likes my front porch the best.

-The lack of sunlight is depressing. Literally. I had to burst into tears — seemingly at random — on several occasions before I figured out what the problem was, now I make it a point to be outside when the sun is up. Especially when it is setting and blinding everyone on the roadway.  It sort of helps. A coworker also has a SAD lamp which is basically a super bright light. If I put a space heater in front of it, I can pretend the sun is right behind my desk. 

In other news, I had a birthday recently and a slew of awesome gifts from Alaskans and non-Alaskans alike.  Among the gifts were two excellent mugs made by local artists Penny McClain and Libby Berezin. They’ve ensured I’ll be drinking my morning cup ‘o tea in style. Plenty of baked goods and a well-timed trip out to a cabin on Engineer Lake made the weekend whole.

 If you’ve got a few minutes, check out the sweet musical gifts my family and friends sent as well.  It’ll be a momentous year.