I noticed a spider crawling across my bathroom ceiling Thursday evening. I’m guessing it had taken refuge in the vent from the onset of winter some months ago, and wandered out looking for something to eat.
While removing said spider might at other times of the year be a priority, this one’s is safe, at least until Monday.
You see, it’s bad luck to kill a spider — and this spider dropped down in front of me before climbing back up to the ceiling, which means I’m due for a run of good luck. I refuse to do anything that might upset the karmic balance of the universe at the moment. Kickoff is Sunday at 2:29 p.m. Alaska Standard Time, after all.
For followers of this column, you might recall that back in August, I mentioned that we tend to get a little worked up over football in our household. Well, it just so happens that our favorite team is one of the two to make it to Sunday’s big game, and let’s just say, we’re more than a little worked up at the moment.
Indeed, I doubt any of the pregame locker room speeches can come anywhere close to the intensity we’ve got going at home right now. Hide the children; Katy bar the door. Our kids and dogs already have their hiding places picked out for when Mom and Dad start hollering at the game, and I believe the kids have dibs on the ear protection I keep by the power tools in the garage. We sometimes even joke that getting that really nice reclining couch and loveseat set for the family room was a waste of money, as we rarely sit down during games. We should’ve invested in the same type of rubber flooring they have at the gym — all our jumping around and foot-stomping is higher impact than any workout. While we’re at it, some padded walls are probably appropriate, too.
We’ve already warned our Super Bowl guests. We will be gracious hosts up until kickoff, but after that, it’s a free-for-all. You want more dip? You know where the fridge is.
(I should add another note at this point that our guests will be arriving to a perfectly clean and tidy household — spiders in the bathroom aside. Apparently, certain comments made in a previous column might have been misconstrued to imply that our house was not in order. I assure readers that is not the case, and in fact, even the dog house in which I found myself was dust- and dog hair-free.)
Guests also will be treated to a pregame hors d’oeuvres of baked brie. I realize that bake brie might not sound like football party food — but there’s a reason for it, and like I said, I’m not going to mess with karma. During our first winter in Alaska, friends came over for the Super Bowl. I had prepared the more traditional football grub — a processed cheese product melted with canned chili, served with nachos. Our friend broke out his version — brie and paté. As sort of a running joke, we’ve been making baked brie ever since — except for 2008, and we didn’t like the outcome of that game. So brie is back on the menu. Since this year’s game is a rematch of that one, we get sort of a karmic do-over, and I’m not about to mess that up.
I don’t consider myself overly superstitious. I mean, we do have a horseshoe over the door, a dreamcatcher by the window, and the front door is red — but that’s because I like red. Warding off evil spirits, or any Feng Shui benefits of welcoming and luck are just pleasant bonuses — a happy coincidence, if one believes in coincidence. And I’ve only got a few four-leaf clovers stashed away.
And it’s not like I’ve got a lucky jersey or hat that I’ll be wearing for the game.
However, if that spider happens to land on my shirt during my next bathroom break, I daresay that might change ...
Clarion editor Will Morrow will be preoccupied on Sunday, but can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org after that.