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Birch Ridge wraps up season of junior clinics

Posted: August 11, 2011 - 10:38am

Bill “the thrill” Engberg and I wrapped up our final junior clinic last week.

I want to take a moment to thank the kids who continued to come out all summer long for the free clinics. I also want to thank the parents who were so wonderful in bringing their kids to the golf course week after week so I could chastise them when they lost their balance or looked for birds. Remember, we hate birds.

I have really enjoyed hosting these clinics with Bill, and we’ve seen a lot of improvement from some of our newest duffers. I’ve been so impressed by some that I think we have a couple future state champions in the group, and that’s very exciting.

For those of you who read this weekly column I’m sure you’re aware that I can be had by a good cookie, but what about the best cookie?
The best gets you some love in the Clarion and the adoration of everyone who stole one from me. No way am I sharing any of those things. Linda Cusack, your ginger snap cookies are ridiculous. Someone needs to market them. The Keebler Elves are scared to death.

Senior League

Week 14 of Senior League action brought 23 duffers to the course.

Chuck “easy” Rider continued his run of dominance with a net 31 to take first place. Chuck also had the long putt at the ninth by rolling in a 25 footer for birdie. The Chuckster has won so often he’s now considering the Senior PGA Tour and he has the Birch Ridge celebrity panel’s full support.

Tom “the hitman” Hodel bullied his way to a second-place finish with a net 34. Hodel also captured closest-to at the sixth with a laser-sighted shot.

Gordon Briscoe won the remaining pennies with the closest-to at the eighth. The Mayor of Kasilof, Ray Hamby, wanted me to remind all the seniors that you’re playing again next Monday.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

Leona “eye of the tiger” Jackson won low gross and Tanya “the wrecker” Boedecker captured low net. Unbelievably, both women won without a posted score.

I’m putting the girl’s column space in detention until they start giving me something to work with. I can only provide so much of my own B.S. to fill up space. I need help. I need scores. Golf is a game of scoring. You can’t win without a score.

Tuesday Couples Night

The lovebirds were chirping again Tuesday night for another week of promiscuous play. The Floridians, Vic and Carol “sunshine scooter” Hussey, fresh off their sandy beaches, rocked the field like a hurricane with a net 20.

In what can only be termed as a dumb decision, I played this week as well. The 35 I posted, which of course is a net 35 for me, obviously wasn’t very competitive. It’s been a long time since anyone beat me by 15 strokes.

Pat “holy roller” Cowan contributed to my dismay by beating me again in our daily putting contest, which of course irritated the hell out of me. I’m adding all of this to my long list of reasons to remain single.

Excluding the great company, the night was a total disaster. The Boedecker’s, Tom and Tanya, took second place after a lengthy card off with a number of teams that tied with net 26s.

Gene “prohibition” Diamond made the most putts outside the flagstick to earn a congratulatory high five.

Birch Ridge Golf Committees Officially Unofficial Golf Rankings

Could the final pairing of Adam Scott and Jason Day have been any better at last weekend’s Bridgestone Invitational? Scott, and his new caddy Steve Williams, were brilliant in victory. Williams, recently divorced from Tiger Woods, used the victory to put another nail in Eldrick’s coffin, which I found to be thoroughly enjoyable.

The celebrity panel awarded Scott for the win by moving him up to No. 5 in the rankings. Ricky Fowler made his rankings debut at No. 9 with The Ghost of Tiger Woods rounding out the Top 10. Next week is the PGA Championship. What does my crystal ball say? Scott and Day will battle it out again on Sunday with Day emerging victorious in the rematch.

1. Rory McIlroy; 2. Luke Donald; 3. Jason Day; 4. Lee Westwood; 5. Adam Scott; 6. Charl Schwartzel; 7. Steve Stricker; 8. Darren Clarke; 9. Ricky Fowler; 10. The Ghost of Tiger Woods.

Golf trivia

Answer from last week: Playing out of turn in match play raises two possibilities. Your opponent can elect that you replay the shot or they can allow your shot to stand. So if you play out of turn and you hit it out of bounds, don’t expect your opponent to make you tee it up again. Well, you’ll have to tee it up again but you’ll be hitting your third.

Q. Which golfer has won a record six PGA Tour Player of the Year awards?

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