As many of you already know, our golf course was vandalized late Monday night or early Tuesday morning. Our seventh and eighth greens were shredded by what appears to be a small four-wheeler. Every so often things like this occur, although this time the damage was pretty extreme.
Our crew puts an awful lot of hard work into making our greens some of the best putting surfaces in the state each summer, and we like to think, at least in part, that our golfers choose to play here because of the course conditions. So an act like this is really troubling for us.
It’s hard to imagine what has to be going through a person’s head to do something so reckless and idiotic. The person responsible may never be known, but that’s OK, we’ll move on, work hard, and repair the damage that was done.
I can only imagine that if someone is willing to tear up a golf course, at some point in their life, for some other incident, they’ll earn a free place to stay out in Wildwood.
I want to quickly thank all of you that came in and commented on the excellent repair work done by our crew. We have a great golfing community here in Soldotna, chock-full of wonderfully unique characters, that’s for sure. Our golfers make the course what it is and we appreciate all of you!
OK, enough of the depressing subjects, let’s move on to how bad I am at golf. At times I like to think that I’m a pretty solid player; I think that’s a fair assessment of my game.
I’ve posted a 63, a couple 64s, and some other low numbers out here at one time or another. I’ve posted a 100 as well, but I was probably 8 years old, so I’m giving myself a pass. So this past Monday, while playing in a pro-am at the Creek Course in Anchorage, I was very amused to find out just how many golf balls can be lost in a day.
I pulled it left off the first tee into the arctic jungle the Creek Course is so renowned for. Unplayable lie. Bogey. … Second hole, snap it left off the tee, lost ball.
The second attempt is down the middle, but unfortunately my fourth shot clipped the very top of the birch trees “guarding” the center of the fairway and the ball kicks hard left into the jungle again, another lost ball. At this point I’m really happy that I drove all the way up to Anchorage to play a round of golf.
Now I have to walk back to where I played my fourth shot after a lengthy search and play shot number six. After speaking in French for a minute or so I decide to play smart and I just lay up to about 80 yards from the green with a 7-iron. Wedge on the green, two-putt, and I just made making a NINE look real easy.
I’m not telling you my horror story because I enjoy being miserable. I just want everyone to know that golf is hard. No matter how good you get there’s always going to be a few disasters just waiting to happen. So don’t get frustrated. Just keep wailing away at that little white ball!
Seventeen wily wizards magically appeared at Birch Ridge on Monday morning for another ferocious competition waged amongst old people. Hussey, Vic Hussey, shook and stirred his way to a net 31, good enough for first-place honors. Dan Mortenson sent his ball on a magic carpet ride to within 13 feet of the cup for closest to at the eighth. Ray “Captain Cohoe” Hamby staked his claim closest to the hole at the sixth, and sunk the long putt on the ninth green.
A flock of lovable ladies flew in for a golf foray T uesday morning. Leona “Dragon Tattoo” Jackson took low-gross honors again this week. Leona needs some competition, ladies! Rita “you are my sunshine, my only sunshine” Geller, Jan Stenga, Carol Hussey and Leona teamed up to win low gross. Chiya Bizan, Louis Schadle, Georgia “Peach” Bentley and Shirley Johnsrud took low net. Geller also feathered her ball next to the cup for closest to at the eighth.
Tuesday Couples Night
The lovebirds may have been rained out two weeks ago but this past Tuesday their love shined brightly well into the night. The couples played a “Divorce Chapman” this week. I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds contentious. Dave and Sharon Keating salvaged their marriage by taking first place. Del and Sally Hoagland finished in second and Mike “Will Rogers” Chenault paired with the love of his life Tanna to place third.
Golf Joke of the Week
Three men wanted to learn how to play golf, so they hired a golf instructor. The instructor asked the three men to each hit the golf ball as far as they could.
One man hit way to the right, and the instructor yelled, “LOFT!”
Then the second man hit it way to the left, and the instructor yelled, “LOFT!”
Then the third man hit the golf ball 2 feet ahead of him, and the instructor yelled, “LOFT!”
The three puzzled men asked the instructor what “LOFT” meant?
The instructor simply said, “Lack of freaking talent!”