Birch Ridge golf report: Busy June concludes

June swoon? No such thing! June was an entertaining month for all involved at Birch Ridge Golf Course.


Early in the month, we were overrun by miniature persons, we hosted the wonderful Dickerson wedding, had some unwanted drama (rolled carts and the four-wheeler incident), there were incredible comebacks and monumental collapses in league matches, the course was filled with golfers, and we were blessed with some great weather at the end of the month, which finally softened my incredibly unsightly golfers tan.

I also managed to upset the entire town of Nikiski, which is pretty cool in a sense. I’m happy that people in Nikiski are paying attention to what’s happening here at the golf course. That’s a good thing.

I play golf every week with a group of guys from that neck of the woods. They’re some of my favorite people and since we’re on the subject, Rusty Weaver we miss you! Get healthy and get back out here.

Hearing the words, “You shoulder dippin’ son of uh …” would be music to all of our ears. I do apologize, though, to anyone that took the comment out of context. I understand stereotypes, and I wasn’t trying to feed into them. Listen, I’ve spent the majority of my life living on Cohoe Loop, I get it.

Wells Fargo Pro-Am

The Wells Fargo Pro-Am, always a very popular event, is Monday. Golfers can still sign up individually or put a team together with the help of a golf professional. We’re going to have quite a professional presence of former Birch Ridge Junior Golf Program graduates in the tournament this year.

Aaron Dexheimer, Nick Horn, Tony Azzara and I all participated in the program in the past. We’re very hopeful that some of our current crop of pint-sized duffers will represent our golf course in future years. Remember, we encourage everyone to come out after the pro-am has ended to watch the qualifying pros play the evening Skins Game.

We would love to have parents with kids that were in our program this year and are enthusiastic about golf to bring them out for the Skins Game. It would be a great opportunity for them to watch highly competitive golf in person, and get a feel for how exciting tournament golf can be. The experience could light a spark in the next great player to come out of Soldotna. 

The introduction is getting a little wordy, I apologize. I think my mom was still around the last time apologized this often. I’m getting soft in my old age. OK, without any further ado, I present to you, the loyal reader, riveting Birch Ridge Golf Course league action.

Senior League

Our age-defying golfers showed up as spry as ever Monday morning for senior versus senior golfing fisticuffs. Frank “The Tank” Harper survived nine rounds, I mean holes, of punishment to take low-net honors with a gritty, hard-fought, 31 net. “Captain Cohoe,” Ray Hamby, slipped and slid his ball within 13 feet of the cup for closest to at the sixth.

Pat “Leaping Leprechaun” McElroy cleverly left his ball 3 feet from the pin when no other senior was paying attention to take closest to honors at the eighth. Jim “Heartthrob” Bennett rolled in a bomb from 18 inches away to have the long putt at the ninth. Great putt, Jim! 

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

The lovable ladies of Birch Ridge rolled out the red carpet Tuesday morning for the “First Lady” Tanna Chenault. Tanna took low gross and net along with closest-to-the-pin honors at the eighth. Her performance was as dominating as any I can remember since I began covering ladies league action last summer. The only lady to take a dent out of Tanna’s winnings was Carol “Glamour” Hussey, who tied for low net and had the fewest putts of the day with an incredible 12 putts! 

Tuesday Couples Night

Half of the flock was missing this week for Tuesday Night Couples. Apparently some lovebirds can’t fly in the rain. However, seven couples managed to stay dry enough to enjoy the “Three Club Blind Draw” format.

Just like it sounds, golfers blindly drew just three measly clubs to play all nine holes with! That’s a challenge. The “First Lady,” Tanna Chenault, came back for more and carried her significant other, Mike, to a Couples Night crown.

Del and Sally Hoagland put aside their differences long enough for a very respectable second-place finish. Darell “Cool Hand Luke” Jelsma romanced his wonderful wife, Susan, into a heartfelt third place. 

Golf Joke of the Week aka Space Filler

Here are some “laws of golf” you may or may not be aware of.

LAW 1: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 22: Golf balls from the same “sleeve” tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water.

LAW 87: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 100: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.


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