Where does the time go? It’s August already? But we haven’t had a summer yet! Unless that week long stretch of good weather in June constitutes a summer I’m pretty sure we just skipped everyone’s favorite season this year. No Kings in the river, no Sun in the sky, Mother Nature has been awfully cranky. Fortunately, the golf has been fantastic, and there’s plenty of exciting events still to come in August. The Pink Ribbon Rally, the Soldotna Elks Phil Turkington Classic, and the Kenai Peninsula Open are just some of the more popular tournaments happening in the next month. If you’re looking for a goofy, zany, and weird round of golf, sign-up for the Bassackwards Tournament. The Bassackwards is scheduled for August 10th. As the name suggests we set the course up in reverse! You play from #9 green to #8 green, #8 green to #7 green, etc... It’s great stuff, you’ll be hitting shots out here you never imagined before and all of the proceeds go towards the Birch Ridge Golf Association’s Junior Program.
Speaking of miniature duffers, the kids have been out here practicing three times a week for the past month preparing for a team match against junior golfers from Kenai Golf Course. Unfortunately the match between the courses fell through, but I want to thank all of the parents, and our little golfers for coming out week after week. We have split the kids into two groups and they have been playing a “Ryder Cup” style match against themselves this week, it’s been a lot of fun, and we’ve seen a lot of improvement over the past few weeks. It’s exciting to have some young talent again out here at Birch Ridge. We had a bit of a dry spell since the late 90’s, early 2000’s, but it looks like the course is going to start producing some serious players again in the near future thanks to some dedicated pint-sized golfers.
OK... I’m really under the weather myself; I’ve been battling a cold for a few days and forcing my beloved girlfriend to baby me with delicious soups and teas. The point is I have zero patience for trying to write anything that you might find humorous or entertaining in any way. Bah Hum Bug! So we’ll make the rest of this quick.
Our wily veterans of the links were smart enough to avoid the weather Monday morning. Only two seniors were brave (insane?) enough to travel out into the cold, wet beyond for another day of riveting senior vs. senior action. Tom “Silver Salmon” Boedeker and Sid “Vicious” Cox went toe to toe for nine grueling holes before declaring a champion. Tom emerged from his bath victorious by posting a very solid net 34. Sid did well to finish in second place posting a net 37. Neither player hit any of the par 3’s in regulation or one-putted the ninth, so all of the money (thousands and thousands of dollars) will carry over to next Monday.
Tuesday Morning Ladies League
The loveable ladies were so scintillating this past Tuesday it didn’t really matter how they performed out on the golf course. It was a Potluck Tuesday for the ladies as well which usually means I get to eat lots of food while they’re out on the course golfing, but since I can’t accomplish simple tasks such as breathing or tasting, I just sat there and threw a pity party for myself while the ladies gorged themselves. Fifteen women played in a format which allowed everyone to win. Leona Jackson chipped in on hole #2, which appears in huge letters on my notes so obviously the ladies want that in the paper. There you go Leona, you chipped in. Was it for a birdie? A double snowman? Nobody knows. The end of the year party is August 21st, but there’s plenty of league play left before then.
Tuesday Couples Night
Seven madly-in-love golfers quit staring lustily into each other’s eyes just long enough to complete another week of steamy couples play. The couples played a scramble with a unique twist. Each couple had to play the worst of their two shots for just the second shot on each hole. Does that make sense? I’m not going to put any more effort into explaining it so hopefully it does. The Dream Team of Steve and Sally Tachick hugged and kissed their way to a net 27 winning the competition. Gary Dawkins and Lori Riggs-Bishop paired together for a net 28 on their way to a second place finish. There were drinks, food, and fun for all after the round.
Golf Joke of the Week
A lady golfer was a determined, if not very proficient player. With each and every swipe she made at the ball chunks of earth would fly in all directions.
“Gracious me,” she exclaimed red-faced to her caddie, “the worms will think there’s an earthquake.”
“I don’t know,” replied the caddie, “the worms around here are very clever. I’ll bet most of them are hiding underneath the ball for safety”.