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Fall season makes it harder to concentrate on golf

Posted: August 29, 2012 - 10:35pm

Let’s all take a moment to forget about golf shall we? September is just a few short days away and I couldn’t be more excited. Do you know what September means? September means football! I have been a Seattle Seahawks fan for all 29 years of my life. My level of fandom is probably unhealthy, but you have to die of something right? Another season of watching Tavaris Jackson quarterback my beloved team would have left me dangling off the edge of a cliff, but this season I’ve been blessed with something new and extraordinary. We (yes I said “we”) have Russell Wilson and I couldn’t be more anxious to see this kid play for the next ten years. At this point, after watching him tear up the Chiefs in Kansas City, I have a full-blown, unadulterated, man crush. My dreams of a Superbowl victory depend on him being great and I think he’ll deliver. Not this year, but sooner than later it’s happening. It’s a great time to be a Seahawks fan.
It’s also a great time to play some golf when you’re not busy reading up on the latest Seahawks news out there in the vast expanses of the blogosphere. The weather has been wonderful the last few days and the course is still in great condition. Bill “Oil Spill” Engberg deserves a lot of credit for keeping the course in tip-top shape after the Kenai Peninsula Open despite his obvious lack of judgment in being a Chicago Bears fan. We have a few tournaments still on the schedule as we wind down the season. The B & B Classic will be held September 9th at both Bird Homestead and Birch Ridge Golf Course. The B & B pits longtime adversaries from both golf course associations against each other in a winner gets all the marbles, format. OK I’m exaggerating just a bit, it’s really a fun event enjoyed by both clubs. In fact I’m thinking about bringing the girlfriend out for her first tournament experience. Since it’s such an enjoyable, lighthearted, event and I’m the least competitive person ever her performance on the golf course won’t affect our relationship in anyway. I’m sure she’ll appreciate me saying that. OK, let’s get to the meat and potatoes portion of this column.
Riveting Senior League Action
Sixteen sweet old men, really great guys, each and every one of them, showed up for a pleasant round of golf ball hunting. In what must be a senior league record four golfers tied for first place! Making things even better they all donated the thousands of dollars they won to the end of year party fund. See! They really are great guys! With all that money added to the pot I’m sure the senior’s will be knocking back the moonshine in short notice. Gordon “Slicker than Crisco” Briscoe slid his ball within 13’ of the cup for closest to at the sixth. Earl “The Pearl” Matthis matched Gordon’s feat with closest to honors at the eighth. Don “Legend” McGhee had the long putt at the ninth.
Tuesday Morning Ladies League
A number of ladies still showed up Tuesday morning for organized golfing chaos. It’s great to see so many woman still coming out to play despite their season being officially over. We’re going to take a moment to recap a summer’s worth of ladies golf madness. There were two birdies this year amongst the women and Tonya Boedeker had both of them. A long list of chip-in’s include but are not limited to Denise Cox, Beth Roseberry, Wilda Bush, Tanna Chenault, Leona Jackson, Shirley Johnsrud, and Cheryl Hammarstrom. Denise and Rita Geller recorded eagles during league play and didn’t receive the birdie payout for their accomplishments! Something is wrong here women. There was one lady with perfect attendance this summer. A very special high five goes out to Denise Cox.
Tuesday Couples Night
Nine couples, consisting of 18 total persons, came out to play Tuesday for steamy couple on couple golfing action. Apparently the golf was so much fun the couples decided to leave without any hints as to what occurred during play. What happens at Birch Ridge stays at Birch Ridge I guess.
Golf Joke of the Week
Fred decides to take his boss Mike to play nine holes on their lunch break. While both men are playing excellent golf they are often held up by the two women in front of them. Fred offers to talk to the women to see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there, stops, and jogs back. His boss asks why he turned around so quickly.
“Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress,” complained Fred. Mike just shook his head and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, Mike stopped short and turned around as well!
Fred asks, “what’s wrong?” and Mike responds, “It’s a small, small world Fred, and you’re fired.”

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