Happy Thanksgiving football fans!

Happy Thanksgiving Kenai Peninsula! Thanksgiving has always been my favorite day of the year. Sure, Christmas with all its fancy gifts and décor is a worthy challenger, but Thanksgiving is all about food and family. It doesn’t get any better than that. Thanksgiving also happens to be a celebration of our nation’s favorite sport, football. As a young child I was cursed with horrific memories of the Detroit Lions getting crushed year after year by incredible amounts. Seriously, NFL, why do we have to suffer through a Lions game every Thanksgiving? At least schedule the Lions in the evening time-slot so the tryptophan-induced coma can help us through a healthy chunk of the game. Not a single person in the world outside of Detroit’s city limits wants to watch the Lions play on Thanksgiving. That might not be an exaggeration. Barry Sanders is rolling over in his grave.


We can also give thanks for the turkey day tradition that is the Dallas Cowboys. Why can’t we just have Dallas and Detroit play each other every year? Our ancient cousins, the Neanderthals, referred to that as killing two birds while only throwing one stone. Neanderthals were masters of efficiency. I know, I know, I’m being overly critical of the Cowgirls. Few teams create better headlines than the Fightin’ Jerry Jones’. Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has perfected the art of grasping defeat from the jaws of victory. Fortunately, this year the Cowboys will be facing Robert Griffin III and the hated Washington Redskins in what should make for a super entertaining appetizer.

OK, this is the time of the day where you, the loyal NFL enthusiast, need to toughen up and show some pride. All you fathers out there; set a good example for your sons to follow. I know it’s difficult, you’ve already watched two games and you have a few pounds of Turkey clogging up your digestive system, making any form of movement virtually impossible, but it’s at this moment of incredible adversity when the men are separated from the boys. Through sheer force of will you’ll lift yourself up from the dinner table and forge your way to the sofa. Don’t let your annoying Aunt distract you from grabbing the remote control during this arduous journey. Real men can’t afford to make this mistake. Once you’re on the couch, you’re not moving! What’s that noise emanating from the kitchen? Is that your wife asking you to help with the dishes? Malarkey! To hell with the dishes, that’s why real men invented tomorrow. Right now, you’re watching football.

This year’s main course features the Brady Bunch and Rex Ryan’s mouth, undoubtedly an entertaining, albeit irritating, combination. Before I forget, there’s one more thing to be thankful for. An 8-5-1 record against the spread last week leaves us at 80-75-5 for the season. After spending the vast majority of the season under .500 we’ve finally made it into the black (when I say “we’ve” I really mean “I” but I like to make the readers feel involved). Hopefully we can have a strong finish to the year.

HOUSTON TEXANS @ Detroit Lions +3

You can’t spend the entire first paragraph of your football column bashing the Detroit Lions and still side with them. The Lions already slim playoff aspirations would disappear with a Thanksgiving Day loss. Houston really struggled defensively last week against the Jaguars. I expect a much better effort this week. Texans win 30-23

Washington Redskins @ DALLAS COWBOYS -3

Tony Romo’s record on Thanksgiving is spectacular. The Cowboys, as awful as they’ve been this season, are only a game behind the New York Giants in the NFC East. A huge Robert Griffin III homecoming performance is worrisome, but Dallas’ defense has been strong at home all year. Cowboys win 24-20


The Brady Bunch will be without all-world Tight End Rob Gronkowski after he suffered a broken arm while blocking for an extra point attempt late in the 4th quarter of last week’s blowout win over the Colts. Why was a player as valuable as Gronk even on the field in that situation? That’s a great question. Can somebody please put a fork in the Jets season? Patriots win 27-17

Minnesota Vikings @

This is a tough one, not knowing if Bears quarterback Jay Cutler will be able to return from his concussion, which hopefully knocked some sense into him. The Bears defense was embarrassed on Monday Night getting eviscerated by the San Francisco 49ers backup QB. I expect an improved performance on Sunday. Bears win 19-13

Oakland Raiders @ CINCINNATI BENGALS -10

Carson Palmer is making his highly anticipated return to Cincinnati to face the Bengals. It’s hard to imagine Palmer’s Raiders being competitive after surrounding 93 points in the last two weeks, but the Bengals have a way of bungling things up. Against all better judgment I’m siding with the Raiders. Bengals win 26-19

PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ Cleveland Browns +1

The Pittsburgh Steelers will again be without star quarterback Ben Roethlisberger when the travel to Cleveland to face the Brown Paper Bags. Even without Big Ben it just doesn’t feel like Cleveland is capable of defeating the Steelers. Such an outcome would defy all known laws of football wouldn’t it? It’s going to be close but Pittsburgh will find a way to win this pivotal matchup. Steelers win 17-13

Buffalo Bills @

As bad as Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has been on the road all season, he’s been equally impressive at home. The Colts are surely giving thanks for playing this game in Indianapolis. Buffalo is coming off a win over the Miami Dolphins. The Bills won’t circle the wagons two weeks in a row. Colts win 34-24

DENVER BRONCOS @ Kansas City Chiefs +10

Denver’s top running back, Willis McGahee injured his knee last Sunday, and will miss the remainder of the regular season. McGahee’s injury will force the Broncos to rely even more on Peyton Manning’s arm to carry them. Oh wait, that’s a good thing. Peyton is scary good right now and the Chiefs must be terrified. Is there a mercy rule in the NFL? Broncos win 38-10

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS @ Miami Dolphins +3

The fish have been fried in recent weeks losing four consecutive games. Seattle is completely healthy and coming off of a bye week. I swear I will never side with the Seahawks again if they lose this game but my anti-jinx policy has been killing me this season. Seahawks win 24-17

Tennessee Titans @ JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS +3

With starting quarterback Blaine Gabbert out this weekend with an apparent injury the Jaguars actually have a chance of winning a game. Gabbert is stunningly awful, it’s time Jacksonville cuts bait on the former first round draft selection. Tennessee is coming off a bye, and should be well rested, but I think Jacksonville is the play. Jaguars win 30-24

BALTIMORE RAVENS @ San Diego Chargers +1

Because this game is in San Diego the Chargers have a real chance of upsetting the Ravens. My desire to have the Norv Turner era come to an end in SoCal has me siding with Baltimore. I just can’t force myself to root for Norv to win another game. Ravens win 24-17

San Francisco 49ers @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS +1

The brewing quarterback controversy is San Francisco is a little unsettling. The incumbent, Alex Smith, hasn’t done anything this season to lose the job, but it looks like that may end up being the case. It would be mildly shocking if the 49ers turned to the inexperienced Colin Kaepernick permanently. The Saints are marching and New Orleans is always a tough out at home. Saints win 28-21

Arizona Cardinals -1

It seems like every game this week has a one point spread… How can you possibly side with the Cardinals right now? Their offense is an absolute disaster of epic proportions. This is not an endorsement for the Rams, they’re almost as bad and could easily lose this game, but the Cardinals ineptitude has left me no other choice. Rams win 24-20

Green Bay Packers @

The defending Super Bowl champs always seem to be at their best when their backs are against the wall. This is a team that’s allergic to prosperity. Admittedly the Giants have been a huge disappointment in recent weeks and Green Bay has been on a roll but the Giants will come to at home in prime time. Giants win 31-27

CAROLINA PANTHERS @ Philadelphia Eagles -1

This week’s version of the Toilet Bowl is on Monday Night. Obviously, scheduling in the NFL is not an exact science. This game hardly deserves my attention. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Panthers win 28-21


Sat, 05/19/2018 - 23:18

River City Cheer wins U.S. Finals