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Birch Ridge columnist tries out anti-jinx on the weather

Posted: May 30, 2013 - 10:26pm

It is way too flipping hot out! How am I supposed to golf in sweltering Alaska heat? I miss the days when it was a brisk 34 degrees. That’s golfing weather folks.

Don’t get me started on the sun rudely creating awful shadows through which I have to swing. I could go on and on. Bring back the cold rain! That’s the ultimate anti-jinx reverse psychology ploy. Hopefully it works.

The miniature duffers are back at the golf course this week for the Hook-a-Kid on Golf camp. It’s a wonderful week of golf for the kids, who each receive a new set of clubs to bring home at the end of the camp. We strongly encourage parents in our community to sign up their kids for this camp.

The kids learn full-swing, putting and chipping fundamentals in addition to course etiquette and rules. This year’s group has been fantastic. We’re excited to get them out on the golf course tomorrow. The course record may be jeopardy.

The Birch Ridge Golf Association Junior Golf Camp is scheduled for June 10 to 14. This camp is open to all junior golfers. Camp information and registration forms can be found on our website at www.birchridgegolf.com

Riveting Senior League Action

Darrell “Cool Hand” Jelsma bamboozled the competition Tuesday morning with a sparkling 33 net take low score honors. Jelsma rolled in a putt so long at the ninth that our tape measurers were unable to record the distance. Don “Super Seahawk” McGhee won closest-to-the-pin honors at the sixth. Don’s wonderful shot was the only thing preventing Jelsma from a clean sweep. Our veteran golfers will be back at it next Monday.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

Easily the most beautiful women in the state of Alaska were strutting their stuff Tuesday morning at Birch Ridge. The First Lady Tanna Chenault turned in a perfect performance to win low gross. Tanya Boedecker played her way to low net honors. Denise Cox took the fewest putts, most likely due to her being a world class roller of the rock. Cheryl Hammarstrom hit the most fairways and putts to win an incredible amount of swag.

Tuesday Night Couples

The romance is back at Birch Ridge starting Tuesday. Couples will shotgun start at 6 p.m. I will personally be creating all the wild and wacky games for couples to play this summer. So our lovebirds don’t need to do a thing.

Golf Joke of the Week

Bob was a fanatic golfer. Every Sunday morning he headed straight to the golf course. It didn’t matter what the weather was like. It could be raining and 45 degrees, but Bob didn’t care, it was off to the course. Every Sunday for years you could find Bob on the first tee.

One Sunday, Bob finally met his match with the weather. He got up early and drove out to the course, hoping the weather would improve by the time he hit the first tee. But once at the course, he knew he was beat. It was just a few degrees above freezing, and the rain was coming down steady and icy cold.

For the first time in years, Bob headed back home on a Sunday morning.

His wife was still in bed when he got there, so he took off his clothes, snuggled up to his wife and said, “Terrible weather out there.”

“Yeah,” his wife replied, “and can you believe my idiot husband went golfing?”

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