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Birch Ridge report: Tourney to help junior programs

Posted: June 19, 2013 - 11:10pm

With a lot of hard work by Bill Engberg and his merry band of mowers (with an assist from the sun) the golf course is rounding into form wonderfully. In another two weeks the greens will be dialed! Exciting news for every golfer.

Along with Kenai Golf Course, we’re hosting an Alaska Golf Association event this weekend. The Peninsula Jackpot serves as a fundraiser for our local golf association’s junior programs. The president of the AGA, Jeff “The Laughing Lefty” Barnhardt, does a great job putting this tournament together. So if you see Jeff around town this weekend, I encourage you to thank him and the rest of the AGA for visiting the Kenai Peninsula and donating a share of the proceeds to our miniature duffers.

Golfers, it’s time to consider putting the Wells Fargo All-Alaska Pro-Am & Skins Game on your tournament calendar. This year’s rendition of the very popular event will be held on July 8. For more information on the tournament, please call the pro shop.

Alaska professionals from Anchorage, the Valley and Fairbanks will be traveling down to participate, and we hope pros and amateurs from Kenai Golf Course and Bird Homestead Golf Course will as well.

Inspirational Senior League Action

The seniors were back in full force Monday when 22 physical specimens, intent on overwhelming the course with power and athleticism, arrived with determination in their eyes. Sam “Laser” Lazenby emerged from the pack a clear victor. Lazenby posted a 42 gross to lead the field and his net 28 crushed the hopes and dreams of all his competitors. Don “Super Seahawk” McGhee hit a shot the best quarterback in the NFL, Russell Wilson, would be proud of at the sixth to claim closest-to honors. Gary Davis’ ball stopped closer to the hole on eighth green than any other attempt during the day and Laser Lazenby used his superior vision and aiming skills to roll in the long putt at the ninth.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

The hot to trot women of Birch Ridge braved the heat Tuesday morning for another exciting week of ladies play. Chiya “Pet” Bazan won low gross and Cheryl “The Hammer” Hammarstrom won low net. Dee Richards and Beth Roseberry tied for the fewest putts. Tanya “Tiny Dancer” Boedeker’s ball two-stepped it’s way to closest-to honors at the eighth.

Tuesday Night Couples

Twenty-eight madly in love golfers set their emotions for each other aside just long enough to play another week of couple on couple golf action. Mike Chenault, with an assist from the First Lady Tanna, beat out all the constituents for first place with a net 28. Tom and Tonya Boedeker steamed up the room with a scintillating net 29 leading to a second-place finish. Darrell and Susan Jelsma lovingly took third. Val Ischi wasn’t able to repeat as champion from the previous week but she stole the show by providing a delicious assortment of food items for everyone to enjoy, including a wonderful peach cobbler! Couples play will be back at it next Tuesday at 6 p.m. Sign up in the pro shop or simply call to get your name on the list!

Golf Joke of the Week

Bill showed up at his golf club one day to discover that the club had begun a program using seniors as caddies. One day a week, the club replaced all its regular caddies with senior citizens.

“It’s a new program,” the club starter explained. “All the seniors we hired live at the old folks’ home down the road. But they are in terrific physical shape, and we’re just trying to help them earn a little extra money, get some exercise and stay young.”

That sounded like a noble idea to Bill, so he set off to the first tee with his 75-year-old caddie. When he finished up on No. 18 the starter asked him how it went.

“Well,” Bill said, “my caddie was nice guy and he tried really hard. But his eyes were bad. He just couldn’t see far enough to help me find all my errant shots.”

The starter was apologetic. “I’m sorry. Come back next week and I promise I’ll get you a caddie who can see just fine.”

A week later, Bill returned. He headed to the first tee, and this time his caddie was 80 years old. Bill was a little worried, but his concerns disappeared after his first tee shot.

It was booming drive, around 300 yards but a little off-line. “Do you have it?” Bill asked, “I lost it in the sun.” “Don’t worry,” the elderly caddie replied, “I saw exactly where it landed.”

Bill and his caddie started up the fairway in the direction where the old man said he’d seen the ball. Bill started to get a little worried when they began wandering a bit, the caddie seemingly unsure of the exact location.

“What’s the matter?” Bill asked, “I thought you said you saw where it went.”

“Oh, yes sir, I saw exactly where the ball went,” the caddie replied.

“Then where is it?”

The caddie replied, “I forgot.”

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