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Birch Ridge report: Getting pumped up for the Walker Cup

Posted: July 24, 2013 - 10:42pm

The Kenai golfers are coming, the Kenai golfers are coming! The warning call, reminiscent of Paul Revere’s epic “Midnight Ride” in 1775, echoed across the hallowed fairways of Birch Ridge, the dew from a summer’s night still glistening atop the tightly mown grass.

The legendary Paul Zimmerman, with his beautifully manicured beard fluttering frantically in the wind, raced a golf cart from end to end, signaling the warning to all those who would listen! The Kenai golfers are coming!

The Walker Cup, Alaska golf’s version of a WWF steel-cage death match, is being held at Birch Ridge Golf Course today, Friday and Sunday evening. Historically, the Soldotna side has held a slight edge in the competition, but last year at Kenai Golf Course, Kenai dominated the week to steal back the coveted cup.

It’s hard to describe just how bad we got our butts whooped last year but I’m going to try anyway. Imagine for a moment that Seldovia had a football team and that team had to lineup against SoHi. …

Yes, that’s about what it was like.

Fortunately, we’ve had an entire year to come up with a stronger team. We’ve added new blood and old stalwarts like Jay Kriner spent an entire winter in the weight room preparing for this iconic moment in time when golfing glory is within reach.

It’s going to be a great week. There’s nothing better than the Walker Cup!

Riveting Senior League Action

Thirteen physical specimens arrived at Birch Ridge Monday morning for exhilarating Senior League play. At first glance I thought an NFL team was in town but soon I realized it was just Don “Super Seahawk” McGhee and Sid “Vicious” Cox leading a horde of competitive golfers to the first tee.

Dave Johnsrud and Steve “Thor” Hammarstrom tied for low net with a pair of 33s.

Gary Davis proved he is better than everyone else at the sixth with the closest approach of the day. Earl “The Pearl” Matthis rolled in the longest putt at the ninth as smoothly as his mentor Earl Washington spun through the lane en route to an easy layup.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

The golden gals of Birch Ridge took some time away from being beautiful Tuesday morning for another week of sexy ladies league play. All the men at the golf course that morning wore sunglasses to hide their staring eyes as Shirley Johnsrud pranced and danced her way to low gross. Georgia “Wheels” Bentley captured low net.

Tuesday Night Couples

The lovers left the bedroom just long enough to compete in rigorous couples play Tuesday evening.

The golfers went old school, playing a “Stymies-Shamble.” That’s right, stymies were in play. That means you can’t mark your ball on the greens. If a ball is in your line you just have to putt around it!

For more information watch the film, “The Greatest Game Ever Played.” It’s a great movie and you’ll learn a lot about early 20th century golf.

I’m assuming the couples had a miserable night under such challenging playing conditions because nobody left any notes on how play went. Rest assured I will have an even more diabolical format next week for the madly in love golfers of Birch Ridge.

Golf Joke of the Week

Mac invited his friend Jimmy to play at his new club. Since Jimmy had never played the course before, Mac pointed out the trouble spots and where to aim on the first hole.

Jimmy teed up, addressed the ball, took a couple of waggles and took a vicious swing. He hit a foot behind the ball, tore up the tee box and totally missed the ball.

Unfazed, he stepped back, took a couple practice swings and again addressed his ball. This time his swing missed everything.

He stepped back from his ball again, looked at Mac and said, “Boy, this is really a tough course!”

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