The golf course received some much needed rain in the past week although Mother Nature got a little carried away on Monday. The fairways are greening quickly with all the drizzle and a little bit of fertilizer. The greens are still in fantastic condition. If things dry up a bit for the weekend they’ll be rolling about as fast as greens can roll in Alaska for the Kenai Peninsula Open.
The KPO is this Saturday and Sunday. If you like playing your own ball and playing it down this is the tournament for you. We have tons of giveaways for golfers including tournament logo head covers, beer coolers, laptop briefcases, apparel, rain towels, golf balls etc... Bill “The Grill” Engberg will be firing up some dead cow for golfers to enjoy on Saturday and Black Jaxx BBQ is catering Sunday. We’re awarding Men’s and Women’s gross and net champions, low junior, and an Open division champion. Both Beau Forrest and Ardie Crawford are back to defend their amateur titles. Bryan Andersen, two-time Open Champion, will not be returning, but we have a strong group of professionals and amateurs from Anchorage and the Valley vying for the honor. The amateur field is limited to 40 participants and there are just a handful of spots remaining for those wanting to compete. Golfers have until 2:00 p.m. on Friday to register.
Don’t let the recent weather fool you, summer is not over! I promise. I think I promise anyways. There’s still a lot of great golf to be played this season, unless you’re Tiger Woods at a major. The Soldotna Elks just held a raucous tournament this past weekend. A great excuse to yuck it up with your buddies for five hours and drink before noon! Basically, the ideal golf tournament!
Riveting Senior League Action
The really old golfers were rained out Monday morning. Earl “The Pearl” Matthis showed up in his fishing gear ready to play but not a single senior was here to join him. We admire Earl for his bravery, we commend the rest of the seniors for their intelligence.
Tuesday Morning Ladies League
The ladies were out Tuesday morning looking as voluptuous as ever. Every golfer was so appealing it was impossible to decide who to root for but Diane Simmons emerged the big winner with a sparkling shot at the sixth for closest to honors. The ladies played a string game, calm down fellas, we’re not talking about string bikinis! Golfers started the round with a length of string that allowed them to move their ball that distance throughout the round. It’s unclear who emerged victorious.
Tuesday Night Couples
Romance filled the air Tuesday night as smitten golfers paired together for nine holes of satisfaction. The format had both men and women playing a better ball shamble from the white tees to begin. If lovers score par or better they would play the next hole from the white tees. Had they made bogey or worse they would have moved up to the red tees the following hole. Huge Seahawks fan, and obviously an intellectual viewer of football, Dave Keating overcame his wife’s love for the St. Louis Rams (yuck) to place T-1 with a 32. Pat “The Holy Roller” Cowan and Mr. Boss shared first place with the Keating’s at 32.
Golf Joke of the Week
A country club down south didn’t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during weekdays.
The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women’s club, and became active golfers. After about six months, the club board received a letter from the women’s club complaining about men urinating on the golf course. Naturally, the club board just ignored the matter.
After another six months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action! After due deliberation the club came to an agreement and sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges!