Bassackwards tournament makes triumphant return to Birch Ridge

Birch Ridge Golf Course has had a busy week. The “Bassackwards” scramble tournament was back after a two-year hiatus. We had 52 players this year! A fantastic number for an event that raises money for the Birch Ridge Golf Association Junior Program.


For those of you living in the dark, or South Cohoe, for the last decade the Bassackwards is played just like it sounds, backward.

You play from nine green to eight green. Eight green to seven green and so on until you’ve played the entire course backward.

Basically, it’s golf on crazy pills. Which is entertaining. Pat “Holy Roller” Cowan and Mrs. Boss paired with Gene “A Girl’s Best Friend” Diamond and myself to win the tournament in a playoff against Dee Richards, Mick Reeve, Don “Super Seahawk” McGhee and Kevin O’Fallon. Mike Rose, Wilson “Roll Tide” Gillespie, Dave Howard and Leonard Ball did well, finishing third.

I want to thank all the participants for playing and contributing to the success of our junior program. Speaking for myself and Lee “El Presidente” Frey, we are very appreciative.

Birch Ridge also hosted a Ladies Pro-Am over the weekend. Bill “The Thrill” Engberg flirted his way to a first-place finish with Lorie Baggett, Myrna Cowan, Rita Geller and Teresa Sibolboro by his side. Tommy Carver brought the Queens of Kenai over for the festivities and they finished T-2 with the Tom Walsh quartet. Everyone enjoyed pizza and beer following the round and presumably had a good time.

Riveting Senior League Action

Thirteen grizzled veterans of golf stewed their way to Birch Ridge on Monday morning for another week of old guy golf. Earl “The Pearl” Matthis emerged victorious, crushing the competition with a net 30. Dan “4-D” Mortenson captured closest to at the sixth with a dazzling golf display, leaving his shot 22 feet, 4 inches, from the cup. John “The Last DJ” Davis matched Mort’s feat at the eighth with a better shot than any of his fellow competitors. Dave Clark capped off the action with the long putt at the finishing hole.

Tuesday Morning Ladies League

The dazzling dames of Birch Ridge were back for their final round of sexy golf action Tuesday morning. Leona Jackson staked her claim as the prettiest of them all with closest-to honors at both the sixth and eighth holes. Leona also paired with Denise Cox and Cheryl Hammarstrom to take first-place team glory. Beth Roseberry, Sally Tachick and Chiya Bazan finished second. The highlight of the day was Leona chipping in not once, but twice! She’s basically a great golfer.

Tuesday Night Couples

The lovers were out Tuesday evening for X-rated golf action. The game this week had one golfer playing the hole all alone while their three partners played a scramble. Each golfer had to play his or her own ball twice during the nine-hole round. The team of Mike and Tanna Chenault joined with Dave and Sharon Keating to capture first-place honors.

Golf Joke of the Week

How men and women record things in their diaries:

Wife’s Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, “Nothing.” I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband’s Diary:

A 2-foot putt ... who misses a 2-foot putt?


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