An epic of Biblical proportions

'The Book of Eli'

Alcon Entertainment

1 hour, 58 minutes

Denzel Washington is a marvelous actor. No one is denying that. But I guess that after you've been in the game as long as he has, the heavy, oscar-worthy roles must become tiresome. Maybe he just wants to play for a while. That can be the only explanation why someone of his calibre would find himself in a movie as preposterous and overdone as "The Book of Eli."

I generally like post-apocalyptic stories. I like the idea that everything has changed, but the familiar is there, just under the surface of the rubble, sort of peeking out. I like how these movies often suggest science fiction, but keep everything gritty and real. "The Book of Eli" follows this well-worn path, and had it not been for a few choice elements, I would probably have enjoyed it far more than I did.

Washington plays the titular Eli, a wanderer with a precious cargo. It's a book, the last of it's kind, and it is the most important thing in Eli's world. Three guesses as to which book it is, and no, it's not by Dan Brown or Stephenie Meyer. Our hero has been tasked with carrying the book across the United States, to California, where it will be safe. Unfortunately, Eli runs across Carnegie, played by the numbers by Gary Oldman. Carnegie has other plans for the book -- he sees it as a way to control people and cement his power over them. And so, as the tagline tells us, some will die to get the book, and he (Eli) will kill to protect it. Ah, if it were only that easy.

"The Book of Eli" certainly looks good. The cinematography is stark and empty, the color washed out and bleak. The production design is top-notch. It's only when you get into the story that things start to go off the rails. I just didn't buy it. And if you simply don't buy into a movie, all the technical savvy in the world isn't going to save it.

The first place the story loses me is in the film's central premise. Thirty years previous, after a great nuclear war spurred on by religious differences, people become so incensed with religion that every single Bible (OK, yes, the book is a Bible -- but if you didn't know that in the first three minutes, you weren't paying attention) is rounded up and burned. Therefore, the one Eli is carrying -- a nice leather-bound version with a lock -- is the last one on Earth.

This premise puts the movie in a kind of catch-22 right off the bat. On the one hand, in this completely Bible-less world, where most people are illiterate and under the age of 30, and have never even heard of praying, let alone a Bible, I'm not sure how much impact The Holy Bible would have. I won't deny it's an important book, but one of the main reasons it is so valuable to Western Civilization is our long history with it. Carnegie states time and again that if he only had the book, he'd have the perfect "words" to make people do what he wants. But the Bible's not a phrase book. Those "words" are powerful because of their familiarity and their history and the (sometimes) universal truths they impart.

On the other hand, I don't believe that you could get rid of all the Bibles. Think of all the ones in hotel rooms, used bookstores, basements, attics, not to mention bedsides in homes all across the country. No way. But Eli's book has to be the last, or why is everyone killing each other to get it? And kill each other they do. Which brings me to my other beef. This movie is absurdly violent.

I expect violence from a movie like this -- hell, it's an action movie, so why else go? But "The Book of Eli" seems to be taking the shoot-'em-up genre ("Eli" is, after all, just a modern day western) and turning the volume way up. Is this where we are in action movies?

Shooting the bad guys isn't enough anymore, nor is simply slashing or stabbing them with your giant scary machete. Now our hero has to disembowel and dismember, lopping off body parts like he's dicing a carrot. This kind of thing is so over-the-top that it just plays as silly. And the blood! When did squibs become too expensive? All the blood in this film is computer generated -- sprays and splashes flying from the headless bodies like you're watching a video game.

It all looks so fake. If the filmmakers set out to make a blood-soaked movie, the least they could do is use red-colored corn syrup. Lame.

The previously mentioned issues with this film were problematic, but the films most egregious offense comes in the big shocker ending, which I won't detail here. The acting is OK, and, as I said, the look of the film is very nice.

But all of these movies have to have their "Ah ha!" moment, and "Eli" is no different. For a second, the surprise is kind of cool, but as the further implications arise, it becomes more and more ridiculous. I wanted to stand up and yell at the screen, "What?!? No way! Boo!"

I didn't however, because "The Book of Eli" had long since lost my interest.

Grade: C-

"The Book of Eli" is rated R for language and gruesome violence.

Chris Jenness is a freelance graphic designer, artist and movie buff who lives in Nikiski.