Writer discovers love requires patience, nerves of steel


Posted: Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I was sitting at lunch one day with my significant other and was observing a freshman flirt with one of his peers, and that National Geographic/ Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin narrator type voice came into my head "Watch as the cheetah stalks his prey."

Glad to have that part of my relationship over, I felt for him because he was just starting...

It all starts when you notice a girl. Then comes the vigorous process of how to approach said female, engaging her in conversation, then stepping back to analyze (play it cool) the process and decide if you have common interests. I like to term this "contact initiative."

This process is all about finding a compatible candidate. In my case the female was a very unique specimen. She stood out in the "girl herd" a grouping so close it is almost impossible to make contact.

The owl in the movie "Bambi" best described what happens next "You become twitterpated." You know, that wonderful feeling of nausea and stomachaches from fear of rejection.

After finding the compatible candidate you begin what some term as flirting. I use the term, "opposite sex attractant" not to be confused with deodorant (though that may help greatly). Most males will go with occasional jokes or carefully placed comments. Other males depending on age and emotional level go for adolescent techniques such as mockery and name calling (my dad went the latter route and my mom still said yes so if you have made a fool of yourself all may not be lost.)

You need to approach the female with as much courage as you can muster. Keep track of what works, probe for more information and then approach her carefully. Males must be careful when this step is initiated for the female could regurgitate in revulsion or worse laugh at you.

After this, the male must be careful in how long he takes in the flirting stage because if flirting lasts too long, you end up just friends and not a couple.

The male must make the transition from flirting to the exposing of the feelings. There are numerous tactics to confront the issue of explaining your feelings (now a must to prove you are a modern man) without seeming to be wimpy.

Some men will express it in person. I however, wrote a stylish letter, in my childish scrawl (I hoped it added boyish charm.) In my situation, the letter proved effective. The female replied expressing similar emotions.

With the male and the female on the same page, the initiation of "going out" begins. Depending on how the procedure is handled and if you have a car, going out could be as simple as holding hands at lunch because you can't "go out" if you don't drive.

I've never liked the way going out sounded. I call it courting, it adds an old school touch to it. Plus, like all good things, it should come slowly.

To begin things properly you should start to learn more and more about the female establish a connection, brief hugs, talks on the phone and numerous e-mails flooding your mailboxes.

If the female's friends don't outright reject you things continue on until its time to meet the parental units. Usually the first introduction is a mere "Mother and Father meet (insert female's name)" It helps to have her meet them one at a time, as to not load on the pressure. Pressure can be especially great if the female is shy, which can cause awkward silences.

Then you meet hers (this is defiantly a deodorant moment. Try to use whole sentences and not call her father dude). Many questions are involved, and before you know it you've learned her family's life story and repeated your own. This happened to me and I had an enjoyable evening.

Now if you have lasted two to three months you can call it a steady relationship.

From the beginning the man was hopeful and now is thankful for going through with hunt for the right girl and even the expressing of feelings.

It isn't bad at all, its love.

"To love is to place happiness in the happiness of another," anonymous.

This article is the opinion of Zack Misner. Misner is a sophomore at Kenai Central High School.

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