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The hardest part of the day: getting out of bed, dressing

Verbatim

Posted: Wednesday, April 12, 2006

One might get the feeling that with so many things needing to be done it would be best just to stay in bed an let the world pass you by, for awhile at least.

Then, all of a sudden, the realization that one is already out of bed, dressed, and slogging down the hallway of the institution of higher learning hits with the force of a ton of bricks, or roughly half of the weight of all books in the backpack that one is pulling.

You have no choice but to square your shoulders and press on even if you have already forgotten any thing that went on in previous classes. But then what more could anybody hope to get out of this kind of situation, at least your clothes match. Why is having matching clothes such a good thing?

Well for starters one must always look presentable, even if one got dressed in the dark while eating breakfast and running out the door to the bus stop. This feat of speed and dexterity was only accomplished because the desperate youth had no other way of getting to school if he or she doesn't want to risk getting torn apart by the ogre that last night was your loving mother.

By the way, how DO mothers shape shift? It seems that during the day they are the epitome of perfection but in the morning you can’t even touch them with a 10-foot pole. If one were fool hardy enough try then they risk being torn limb

from limb while the ogre complains

that you, as the offender, didn’t even have the decency to warm the

end first, and that the pole she was

touched with had a point that could put someone eye out.

Though if one has the skill to lightly touch their mother with it then the likelihood of putting one eye out is very slim. If one does then don’t try it again, because if you do then people have a right to mock you, that or simply state in a condescending manner that you are extraordinarily stupid.

For the record, this is not meant to be taken as anything but a joke so please take in good humor.

The next thing to talk about is sleep. Sleep, that gift from the heavens that there never seems to be enough of. Whoever is passing out the sleep portions always seems to pass out to little. Doesn't one need a good amount of sleep to function properly? If this is true then why do we never seem to get enough?

Often times one is walking through the day half asleep and not even thinking about anything that is fighting for their attention. Now we get to the out of bed part. If you’ve gotten this far then you will know what I’m talking about and try to use this paper as a blanket.

Now who really wants to get out of bed? We’ve all been there and it isn’t so fun. Out of bed one is always expected to work, even when they are playing, and the ones out of bed always seem to need to share their pain. Why can’t they just let us sleep, even if only on Saturday?

Now while you all read this I’m going back to sleep.

Tim Baldwin is a senior at Skyview High School.



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