Fun times in Funny River

Bird Homestead Report

Posted: Friday, July 28, 2006

It’s time to celebrate the fabulous folks and fantastically unique feature of the Funny River Festival! Friday, we have the honor of kicking off the festival with a nine-hole, blind draw scramble here at Bird Homestead Golf Course.

It’s not too late to force your feet to find their way to the course and join us if you are reading my feature today. The scramble has a registration fee of $35 and that fee features the famous Isom’s Funny River Burger following golf. What a way to forget about those frustrating fishes that are just not finding their way up the river and profit from the unforgettable beauty of the fantastic weather. Get yourself down here!

Registration ends at 12:30 p.m. with a shotgun start at 1 p.m. Come join us, there is a parade to follow and then the festivities begin. Please, don’t forget to buy your Funny River Festival buttons. If ya don’t, don’t come fussin’ at me for you getting tossed in the pokey.

Phew, OK, was that enough F’s for ya? Welcome everyone to the Friday edition of the Bird Homestead Golf Course report. We are located 11.8 miles down Funny River Road and can be reached at 260-GOLF. We have a wonderfully long, sprawling, nine-hole course which has it’s back nine currently under construction.

Elmer Bird’s (Big boss) brother-in-law, Corky has been hauling timber off of the back nine fairways all week trying to bring to reality a truly challenging course. Flatten it out, seed it all up, and we have ourselves one heck of an 18-hole course!

As I said in last week’s report, it has been hard on the river for those seeking the reds. Believe me folks, we feel for everyone who came to fish the reds. Sissy (grounds crew) and I know that one!

Our advice: Come Golfing! Don’t golf? We have a pro here who can teach you! Just stop by or call, we’ll get you set up.

I was very pleased with this week’s turn out on the course, and the raves of how well the course played. Dianne Hamilton (my boss) and her husband Larry (grounds crew boss) sat on the deck this week with many folks from the Lower 48 who said that, if they had known how well our course played, they would have definitely included golf into their vacation as well as fishing. Larry sits up proudly and I see Dianne smile with pleasure. They’re two people who will make you feel as welcome on their home porch as they do on the course’s deck. I kinda think the Lord smiles at them two.

On to Men’s Night! They fussed, they complained, they were basically on my phone relentlessly! Ladies, you had such a hard time of it making a go of Ladies Night on Mondays at 6:30 due to rainy Mondays. Take heart, it was the guys turn to battle the weather. John King relayed to me this week: “I am too old to fish or golf in the rain.”

John came out to the course earlier in the week to shoot some balls and then headed out with the grand-kids for nine holes. Here’s the hoot. Judy (John’s baby girl) related to me that Joe Jr. managed to nail a bunny on 7 while chipping up and Scott Warner eagled 9. Well done! (No mention of John’s final score!) And yes, Joe Jr. actually hit a snowshoe hare, no injuries were reported.

Dennis Linnell was the beaming winner of the race to take the pot on closest to the pin for the sixth hole. That must be killing John King, who was practicing that hole especially. Everyone came back in soggy but relating that they had a great time despite the rain. It definitely was one of our best men’s nights. The pot for 8 will carry over until next week and should make for a great turn out.

Jack Darsey powered one out there to take the longest drive on the fifth hole. Nicely done Jack and we’re happy to hear you had a great game to boot. First-place team was Roy Bird, Rudy Zaborowski and Jack Darsey.

Our course is pleased to be hosting the next tournament of the season. The Soroptimists are having their annual “Chip Away Golf Tourney.” This is an 18-hole shotgun start tournament to benefit the cancer fund at Central Peninsula General Hospital, scheduled for Aug. 5. There is a $65 entry fee. Registration will end at 8 a.m. and tee off will take place at 9:30 a.m.

We expect this tournament to fill quickly, so please gather your team up and register early for both golf and any needed carts. A luncheon will follow provided by Isom’s Café and there will be plenty of prizes.

A special thank you from me goes out to Donna Franzman and Orie Moore, for helping me out with my key fob. (They will understand that one.) For more information on this tournament please contact the course or Rosanne at 262-4339 or 252-7437.

Trivia time! Congratulations Dave Kimura on knowing the correct answer, knowing that the true designation of a links course is a seaside, sandy course. The British Golf Museum says that “links” are coastal strips of land between the beaches and the inland agricultural areas. This term, in its purest sense, applies specifically to seaside areas in Scotland.

This week’s question: In what year did Tom Watson win his first British Open (one of five), which was also his first major title win? A.) 1972 B.) 1973 C.) 1974 D.) 1975. Good luck on this one, it’s a tuffy.

Until next week, may your handicaps keep dropping and your grips stay dry.

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