Protection requested from Homeland Security

I have been having a few problems finding some parts for my bike this summer. About a month ago, Ron Harvey's Classic Motorcycles of Palmer attempted to mail me a rear axle that promptly disappeared into the cosmos.

After filing the appropriate forms to try to locate a lost parcel, it was returned to Ron with this explanation: It seems that Homeland Security had scanned my axle (a 3/4 X 10.5 smooth bolt with a hex head on one end and threads on the other) and determined it must be some kind of terrorist instrument of destruction and promptly pulled it from the mail.

Apparently there were no little ol' ladies or infants with bottles to apprehend that day and this was the only example for them to demonstrate their efficiency in protecting us.

Who will now protect us from the Office of Homeland Security and the threat of organized stupidity?

John R. Midkiff

Kenai