I remember it quite distinctly, my first day of seventh grade, trembling in my seat, when he walked in.
I remember sitting there unable to remove my eyes from him and wondering how in the world I had lived this long without knowing this person. It continued that way for a good week before I got the guts to actually speak to him. But nothing came of my attempt to befriend him so, my devotion continued silently with me every day staring at the back of his head attempting to read his thoughts.
My strongest memory of this time was when he chose me as his partner for a project our class was doing. I slaved over this project for weeks in an attempt to impress him with both my intelligence and dedication. I believed that his choosing of me was because he was attempting to declare his love -- later I learned he chose me because he knew he would get an A.
Nonetheless it was a defining moment in my young life.
This time in my life was as awkward as it was thrilling. I got excited at the mere mention of his name and sat anxiously through class hoping to catch his eye. I can admit to taking the long route to classes in order to pass by him in the halls and denying to anyone that asked that I liked him. Sure, it is embarrassing to think about now. My obsession with someone who treated me like I hardly existed. I would like to say that because of this experience I no longer do this -- but I would be lying.
I think that everyone still has a part of their seventh grade self in them ready to obsess and devote themselves to someone, and it may in fact be a positive thing. It is true that too much of this trait as you age can ruin relationships. But if there is none then you can very easily lose something you really wanted.
Needless to say, nothing ever became of this "relationship." Maybe if I had been able to speak to him without tripping over my own words it would have worked. One thing that did come out of it was introducing me to the emotions of love and rejection, and those are two things that you really have to experience to understand. So I would not trade my experience for one consisting of me achieving my dream boy, because the way that it happened makes for a much more amusing memory.
This article is the opinion of Cassie Sheridan. Sheridan is a junior at Soldotna High School.
Peninsula Clarion ©2013. All Rights Reserved.