At the Cabins
North Nikiski, Alaska
1986-87
Former attempts at getting the stinky barrel out of the yard ended in failed missions.
Plan #5
John’s a welder. He describes himself as an “old dirt-bag-welder.” Bob’s a carpenter. He says “ A carpenter’s work is never done. You have to ponder a lot.” They agree on everything and have been life long friends, except how to build things. “No, that’s not how ya do it, John! Measure from here to here.” To which John replies. “No! No! Ya do it this way!” A whole day can be spent on this subject. In the 30 years they have know each other, they still argue about “how it’s really done!”
“Ya’ got some garbage bags, Bob?” Bob’s head whipped around in astonishment “What for?”
“Well”, says the Dirt-bag welder “We are going to fill the garbage bags full of acetylene and oxygen. Pack them around the fish barrel, light them on fire and it will blow up that barrel, the stinky stuff will soak into the ground and we will be done with this once and for all.”
That for a change, sounded like a logical solution says Carpenter Bob. And as an after thought, “Maybe Ann would stop harping about the stinkin’ fish barrel!” Which even smelled worse and now smelled ALL the time!
The filled the bags garbage bags with acetylene and oxygen. Tied them off and packed them around the stinky barrel. The gas filled bags would not stay around the barrel, so they packed stumps, trees, branches, old plywood and junk around the bags to keep them in place. The soaked perfectly good 10 foot cotton rope in gas. Placed one end under the gas filled bags and stretched it out the full 10 feet.
The plan was for John to light the rope and run and hide behind the well house, where Bob was already hiding. Gas soaked rope in place, Bob (peaking-delet) peeking out from the well house, John with a lighter in his hand, lit the rope.
“JOHN-John, Run,Run!” screamed the hiding Bob! the rope took off burning-FAST, the minute John lit it. John thinking he had time to get back to the hiding place was taking his time, until he looked to see what Bob was screaming about and the motions Bob was making with his arms… (Remember John could not hear?) John took one look behind him and the fast burning rope and took off running, reaching the corner of the well house just as it blew! KerrBooommmmm-echoing big Kerbooms across the lake.
The garage bags full of gas blew, the trees, stumps and plywood flew. Junk was flying in all directions. The lake echoed again and again, the dust filtered out of the surrounding trees. The smoke cleared, dust settled and the lake stopped echoing. The stinky fish barrel was still standing in the same spot! It was putting off a white smoking, stinky glow. Bob and John shaking their head and shouting at each other, “ I was so certain that would solve the problem!” “Yeah me to, John!” Bob shouted back. With ringing ears and total defeat – they headed for the bon fire, found their spots before the fire and started loudly discussing the burning desire of getting rid, once and for all – The Stinky Fish Barrel!
Next week: Plan six
