Op-ed: Is ‘Old-fashioned’ returning?

  • By Cal Thomas
  • Monday, April 23, 2018 9:26am
  • Opinion

“It’s a modern changing world

Everything is moving fast.

But when it comes to love I like

What they did in the past.” — The Everly Brothers, 1962

Call me old-fashioned — and I’ve been called worse — but do I sense the possible end to the sexual revolution, which exploded in the ’60s and whose fallout continues today?

Women complain that men won’t commit, whether in a dating relationship or marriage. The #MeToo stories that have emerged since the exposure of Harvey Weinstein’s alleged sexual harassment of numerous women in Hollywood have also contributed to their frustration. Harassment victims feel used and abused by men who, apparently, were never taught that women are co-equals in the human race and thus deserving of respect, even honor. I know, that last sounds old-fashioned.

New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd has written about a new book by Joanna Coles, chief content officer of Hearst magazines and the former editor of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire, titled “Love Rules.” The book focuses on avoiding unhealthy relationships in the digital age.

Coles spoke to Dowd about the young women she knows who feel “obligated” to have sex with men they don’t particularly like and what appears to be a growing “disillusionment with the hookup culture” at Middlebury College, as expressed by Leah Fessler in an article for the website Quartz.

What especially intrigued me about Dowd’s column was this line from Coles: “No one wants to go back to sock hops and going steady, but to attempt to separate emotions from sex is not only illogical, given that emotion intensely augments pleasure, but also impossible for almost all women.”

As a product of the sock hop and going steady generation I rise to its defense.

So, “no one” wants to return to a system that largely prevented the emotional, relational and, yes, physical problems encountered by modern lifestyles? Isn’t it the very definition of “insanity” when one expects different results while repeating the same behavior?

There were certain “rules,” way back when, about how men should treat women (though Hugh Hefner would later blow them up). The rules mostly worked for people who conformed to them. Yes, I know women experienced other problems then.

The societal wreckage caused by the hookup culture, easy divorce and co-habitation without commitment doesn’t need studies, though there have been some, chiefly by the late Judith Wallerstein, who spent 25 years studying the effects of divorce on children. She ultimately found that the pain from their parents’ breakup continued to cause them distress well into adulthood.

Common sense and experience also reveal certain things about human relationships, which work best and which don’t, especially for women, who mostly bear the burden when men don’t “love, honor and cherish” them until death they do part. For those of a certain age, that’s what couples used to pledge to each other when they married.

Dowd quotes Coles as saying modern sex is “bleak.” It doesn’t have to be. Millennials would do well to consult their old-fashioned and long-married grandparents. Or they can put on a “Golden Oldies” radio station and hear Don and Phil Everly sing:

“I’m the kind who loves only one

So the boys say I’m old fashioned.

Let them laugh, honey I don’t mind.

I’ve made plans for a wedding day for you and me.

That’s old fashioned.

That’s the way love should be.”

Readers may email Cal Thomas at tcaeditors@tribpub.com.

More in Opinion

Screenshot. (https://dps.alaska.gov/ast/vpso/home)
Opinion: Strengthening Alaska’s public safety: Recent growth in the VPSO program

The number of VPSOs working in our remote communities has grown to 79

Soldotna City Council member Linda Farnsworth-Hutchings participates in the Peninsula Clarion and KDLL candidate forum series, Thursday, Sept. 5, 2024, at the Soldotna Public Library in Soldotna, Alaska. (Photo by Erin Thompson/Peninsula Clarion)
Opinion: I’m a Soldotna Republican and will vote No on 2

Open primaries and ranked choice voting offer a way to put power back into the hands of voters, where it belongs

Nick Begich III campaign materials sit on tables ahead of a May 16, 2022, GOP debate held in Juneau. (Peter Segall / Juneau Empire file photo)
Opinion: North to a Brighter Future

The policies championed by the Biden/Harris Administration and their allies in Congress have made it harder for us to live the Alaskan way of life

Shrubs grow outside of the Kenai Courthouse on Monday, July 3, 2023, in Kenai, Alaska. (Ashlyn O’Hara/Peninsula Clarion)
Opinion: Vote yes to retain Judge Zeman and all judges on your ballot

Alaska’s state judges should never be chosen or rejected based on partisan political agendas

A vintage Underwood typewriter sits on a table on Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2022, at the Homer News in Homer, Alaska. (Photo by Michael Armstrong/Homer News)
Point of View: District 6 needs to return to representation before Vance

Since Vance’s election she has closely aligned herself with the far-right representatives from Mat-Su and Gov. Mike Dunleavy

The Anchor River flows in the Anchor Point State Recreation Area on Saturday, Aug. 5, 2023, in Anchor Point, Alaska. (Delcenia Cosman/Homer News)
Opinion: Help ensure Alaskans have rights to use, enjoy and care for rivers

It is discouraging to see the Department of Natural Resources seemingly on track to erode the public’s ability to protect vital water interests.

A sign directing voters to the Alaska Division of Elections polling place is seen in Kenai, Alaska, Monday, Oct. 21, 2024. (Photo by Erin Thompson/Peninsula Clarion)
Vote no on Ballot Measure 2

A yes vote would return Alaska to party controlled closed primaries and general elections in which the candidate need not win an outright majority to be elected.

Derrick Green (Courtesy photo)
Opinion: Ballot Measure 1 will help businesses and communities thrive

It would not be good for the health and safety of my staff, my customers, or my family if workers are too worried about missing pay to stay home when they are sick.

A sign warns of the presence of endangered Cook Inlet beluga whales at the Kenai Beach in Kenai, Alaska, on Monday, July 10, 2023. (Jake Dye/Peninsula Clarion)
Opinion: Could an unnecessary gold mine drive Cook Inlet belugas extinct?

An industrial port for the proposed Johnson Tract gold mine could decimate the bay

Cassie Lawver. Photo provided by Cassie Lawver
Point of View: A clear choice

Sarah Vance has consistently stood up for policies that reflect the needs of our district